The PMS Diaries

onegreenplanet.org

2012- April – Day 3

I knew today would be the worst.  I could just feel it when I woke up- like an evil clown had taken over my mind.  Smiling on the outside, evil on the inside. I tried to stay calm, happy, peaceful- but it wouldn’t let me.  I gave fair warning last week to my family so they should have made preparations for the storm.

During the midst of an argument with my husband- somewhere  between why can’t he put the toilet paper on the roll and me taking a stand against processed chicken, I noticed nobody was listening to me.  So, I did what any PMSing woman would do- I unplugged the cable from the TV, unscrewed the internet modem, closed the laptops and hid them in the closet, I even unplugged the coffee pot and put it under the sink. Then,  matter-of-factly declared this week  No Technology Week! I felt like I had to win – at something and I didn’t care what.

My son, Jaren, who was watching said TV didn’t even flinch.  He quietly got up to make a ham sandwich and waited for the storm to pass.   My husband was sitting back on the couch smirking at me which only fueled the fire.  We exchanged sarcastic unpleasantries for 20 minutes- each of us trying to one-up the other. I wanted to win that too!

It was exhausting- or I was exhausted, either way I was going to win.

Ever feel like this?

So I decided to do laundry- the PMS way.  I stormed around the house gathering the laundry from each room- and with my arms flailing ,  threw them in the basket,  slammed the detergent on top (because it feels good to hurt inanimate objects when you’re mad) and headed to the laundromat.  Maybe watching the dryers go round and round would calm me down.  It was worth a try.

I slammed the car door, cranked up my Bon Jovi CD  and loudly sand along- “It’s My Life, It’s Now Or Never…”  that felt good.

I sat at the laundromat texting to my friends- laughing at their empathetic replies to my breakdown.  My friend Diane text-  “I threw my toaster out the back door once because my husband was complaining about the burnt toast I served him for breakfast.”  My reply, “You made him breakfast?!”  –Almost all of my girlfriends have stories of temporary insanity due to PMS.  I felt validated.  My technology ban wasn’t that bad, was it?  I was about to find out.

By the time I arrived  home, I felt better, but could tell that my husband and son did not.  As I walked passed them, I felt their icy cold stares on the back of my neck.

I decided it would be best to take a nap.  After a few hours of sleeping, I awoke to the smell of chicken- unprocessed chicken, and the toilet paper was indeed on the roll.

The next wave of PMS hit me.  Sadness and guilt.  But then a thought came to me-  In my lifetime, I’ve suffered through PMS 1,630 days of  324 weeks in 27 years.  If they don’t know what to expect by now, I can’t explain it to them.

My fellow blogger Nicki knows just what I mean.  Click to see Nicki break it down for you!

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9 thoughts on “The PMS Diaries

  1. hahahahaha Very Very familiar to women!

  2. Through My Eyes says:

    This is so funny 🙂 LOL and my friends and family thought I was bad on PMS.
    I am usually over sarcastic – “No, cramps don’t hurt. It’s just my body laying a freaking egg and if it doesn’t get used, my body will just RIP down the walls inside me. No Biggie!”

    • That’s hilarious! Oh no, if I’m not getting the empathy I crave during PMS, my mind goes into a state of sadistic overdrive. Good thing I only get PMS about every few months- the powers that be must have known I’d end up alone and isolated in life if I had a normal cycle.

  3. tigerlily219 says:

    Absolutely! I love the girls I work with. I too have been in the medical field my entire life and this is by far the best place I’ve ever worked for.

    • Stay there! Having a work-family is just as important as your own family. The toll unhappy people take on your emotional and mental health is not worth any job! Good for you!!

  4. tigerlily219 says:

    Love it! I work in a OBGYN office full of women. needless to say, what happens to any group of women that are around each other long enough? Yup! One week out of the month our chocolate stash diminishes 1000 times faster than normal, and we all are on each other’s nerves. The other three weeks we are great friends, so it’s rather interesting. We always look back and laugh on the interesting meetings that have come out of PMS week.

    • I have worked in the medical field my whole life. To find a complete group of women you love working with does not always happen. I’d rather have 14 women that I love that all have PMS at the same time and get it over with than to work with one meany in the bunch all the time.

  5. […] note, I like this.  The PMS version of chores is often a scary one. Like this:LikeBe the first to like this […]

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