Get Out Of My Vocabulary!

Three Words And A Phrase

That Are Holding You Back

From Getting What You Want

As we continue along our journey, we strive to be a better person, more enlightened and well-informed so that we can make better decisions that will inevitably have positive overall effect on our lives and  this world.

People often say to me, “Jennifer, you are so positive and upbeat all the time.” Umm, no. I have moments of pure frustration hence THIS post.  But I do practice self-awareness daily.

How do you begin to change your thoughts to produce more of what you want?  By realizing negative thoughts which come out as negative words that cause negative actions.   I’m going to teach you some fun ways to always speak in the positive.  Say goodbye to these words:


To me, just is a demeaning word that makes one feel less-than something or someone.

You are just a housewife, I am a doctor.
You are just a secretary, I am your boss.
You are just a astronaut, I am a physicist.

I loathe this word and all that it implies.  You are never just something.  You are always everything you want to be!  What’s even worse, is when you use just to describe something about yourself.

I’m just not smart enough to start my own business. 



You may only use just as an an adverb or to emphasize a point: That’s just awful! (referring to worm pie) in this case, just is used to emphasize that worms do not taste very good baked in a pie.


This word is the hardest one to eliminate.  I still almost say it on occasion.  Here is a game I have created to eliminate these words:  When you start to say I ne.. STOP, THINK of what your want and START using positive action words.

NEGATIVE: I need a job today

POSITIVE:  I will email my friends to see if they know of any jobs.

NEGATIVE: I need to make more friends.

POSITIVE: I am going to join a networking group.

NEGATIVE: I need to get a haircut.

POSITIVE: Tomorrow, I will make an appointment with Bob to get a haircut.

I know this last one sounds silly because your hair will grow back and you will want to get another haircut so you’ll feel better about your appearance.  But you must eliminate the word all-together.

(Notice in my explanation, I did not use the word need. That word is gone!)


If I told you to write down everything you needed in life- not just material things, but everything and instead- instructed you to begin every sentence with I need- what would you have?  You would have created a list of lack. The things you do not have and that’s it.

Now write down the same things, except this time cross out the word need. use positive words like, I will create, I can find, I will email, I am good at making..

NEGATIVE: I need to loose weight.

POSITIVE: I will research gyms in my area tomorrow and join one.

You’ve changed your entire negative thought  process into a solution.  Instead of creating lack, you have created an abundance.  You have started the creative thought process  to get what you want.

the wisest words ever spoken by a puppet

the wisest words ever spoken by a puppet


This seemingly positive word of action is actually a lazy, negative word in disguise.  The word try is nothing more than a lazy promise. A weak link.  It is a negative word that means- don’t expect me to succeed, then you won’t be disappointedI don’t want to do it and I’m pretty sure I can’t won’t.

It’s a word used when somebody does not want to commit.  I will try to make it to the gym 3 times a week.   This is another excuse to not succeed and justify the effort, or lack thereof.

Take it!

Try To Take It


Grab a friend.  Take a $20 bill out of your pocket and hold it loosely between your fingers.  Now ask your friend to try to take the $20 out of your hand.  Do not tighten your grip.  Did he take it?  I’d bet yes.  EXACTLY!

He did not try to take the $20.  He did take the $20.  You cannot try to take it, you either will take it or you won’t.

Now take the $20  back and repeat again, “No, don’t take the $20, try to take it.”  Your friend will look puzzled- this is funny.  He will probably say that he did try to take it and succeeded.

Wrong! What he did was signal his brain to move his arm to move his hand to grasp the $20 bill and closed his fingers around it and pulled it backwards and held it in his hand.  He did all that to accomplish the task. He succeeded in the task.

What he did not do was try to take it.  Make Sense?


Say you are in sales and only took the job because you felt you had no other option.  When the boss asks you why you were last in sales this month, you have one of two choices.

1. Listen to his suggestions and put them into action and increase your sales


2. Be honest and say, “I really don’t want to work here.  I will probably quit when I find something better that I like  more than this job.  Until then, I will be lazy and sulk.” In other words, You’ll try to do better.  They both mean  the same thing.

Do not ever try to do anything again. Make the decision to make it happen and you will be blown away by how many things you are now getting done.

Don't Forget ?


How many times do we tell someone not to forget something?  and how many times DO we actually forget things we were told not to?

The reason for this is because the subconscious mind is fooled by the negative words, and ignores them.  Negative words are like a hole- there is nothing there to process.  It simply will not retain the negative.  There many books and studies on this matter.

NEGATIVE: Don’t forget to pick up milk before you come home.

but what your subconscious hears is- forget to pick up milk

(the don’t is unheard by your subconscious mind)

POSITIVE: Honey, remember to pick up milk at the store before you come home.

I have found that by eliminating negative words and substituting positive action words instead, my thought process about a particular situation begins to change, immediately and I’m better able to come up with a solution to a problem on the spot instead of dwelling on the negative.  Now you try do it.

photo credit:,,,


22 thoughts on “Get Out Of My Vocabulary!

  1. Wauw! In one word: Amazing. I am totally gonna recommend this article to some friends of mine. I have a lot of friends that have the habit of being a bit negative. This article might help them become more positive. Like you, I am a very postive person myself and people always ask my how I do that as well. I think you explained it very well and I bet it is useful for a lot of people! The world says thanks! 😀 Also, thanks for liking my post and that you started following me! x

    • Great to hear you will pass it along. The more people we can reach with positivity the more chance we will start to see in our own lives. Focus on positive people, words, entertainment and wow- does your whole world change. Love you Blog!

  2. ajaytao2010 says:

    Nice reading about you Jennifer. I came to your blog absolutely by chance.

    Thanks. I invite you to visit my blog
    Browse through the categories, u may find it interesting

  3. Mike Lyles says:

    This will immediately change the way I speak and write. Very helpful and thanks for writing this. Great reading!

  4. brendayoder says:

    Very powerful. I love this. There is much truth in this!

    • Thank you! In truth, we should strive to find the positive. I focus so much on hearing positivity now, even when I hear a negative talk, I can pull out the positive message and rephrase it. People are stunned by how they can get the same message across positively.

  5. Abrielle Valencia says:

    Wow! This was a powerful blog. This is a topic that should be discussed more often. Great insight! You can definitely inspire others to save a life with this blog, and hopefully help those who want to take their lives.

  6. John D. Goddard says:

    Great stuff, really! I’ve “tried” (haha) to be more consious of my use of many of those words myself. Self-awareness daily is the only thing I know to choose my words with precision! Thanks so much for sharing this with the world.

    • Self-awareness and living in the moment are two things I had to learn. I feel too many distractions with our obsession for entertainment has caused a shift in perspective. Thank you for being self-aware (notice I did not say, ‘trying to be.’ 🙂

  7. Reblogged this on markusbuessecker and commented:
    Great article on the power of words…thanks very much for sharing. Goes also very well with the “Verbal Candy” spirit! ENJOY

  8. Tracy says:

    Great post! It’s so important to be aware of what you’re actually saying with the words you choose. This year I made a conscious effort to say want instead of need and it’s made a big difference in my life. I say “I want to clean my room,” “I want to lose some weight,” or “I want a cup of coffee.” This simple change makes me feel more in control and happier to do the things on my list. After all I won’t die if I don’t do them so they are not really needs.

    • Yes, “want” is an good word to use and I do. I find more uplifting words include, create, accomplish, will and manifest. As long as we get our minds in the positive, that’s what’s important. Thank you for your insight.

  9. Everyday life vocab is always a threatening positive thoughts…

Love to hear what you think!

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