Three Words And A Phrase
That Are Holding You Back
From Getting What You Want
As we continue along our journey, we strive to be a better person, more enlightened and well-informed so that we can make better decisions that will inevitably have positive overall effect on our lives and this world.
People often say to me, “Jennifer, you are so positive and upbeat all the time.” Umm, no. I have moments of pure frustration hence THIS post. But I do practice self-awareness daily.
How do you begin to change your thoughts to produce more of what you want? By realizing negative thoughts which come out as negative words that cause negative actions. I’m going to teach you some fun ways to always speak in the positive. Say goodbye to these words:
To me, just is a demeaning word that makes one feel less-than something or someone.
You are just a housewife, I am a doctor.
You are just a secretary, I am your boss.
You are just a astronaut, I am a physicist.
I loathe this word and all that it implies. You are never just something. You are always everything you want to be! What’s even worse, is when you use just to describe something about yourself.
I’m just not smart enough to start my own business.
THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE:
You may only use just as an an adverb or to emphasize a point: That’s just awful! (referring to worm pie) in this case, just is used to emphasize that worms do not taste very good baked in a pie.
This word is the hardest one to eliminate. I still almost say it on occasion. Here is a game I have created to eliminate these words: When you start to say I ne.. STOP, THINK of what your want and START using positive action words.
NEGATIVE: I need a job today
POSITIVE: I will email my friends to see if they know of any jobs.
NEGATIVE: I need to make more friends.
POSITIVE: I am going to join a networking group.
NEGATIVE: I need to get a haircut.
POSITIVE: Tomorrow, I will make an appointment with Bob to get a haircut.
I know this last one sounds silly because your hair will grow back and you will want to get another haircut so you’ll feel better about your appearance. But you must eliminate the word all-together.
(Notice in my explanation, I did not use the word need. That word is gone!)
THINK ABOUT THIS
If I told you to write down everything you needed in life- not just material things, but everything and instead- instructed you to begin every sentence with I need- what would you have? You would have created a list of lack. The things you do not have and that’s it.
Now write down the same things, except this time cross out the word need. use positive words like, I will create, I can find, I will email, I am good at making..
NEGATIVE: I need to loose weight.
POSITIVE: I will research gyms in my area tomorrow and join one.
You’ve changed your entire negative thought process into a solution. Instead of creating lack, you have created an abundance. You have started the creative thought process to get what you want.
This seemingly positive word of action is actually a lazy, negative word in disguise. The word try is nothing more than a lazy promise. A weak link. It is a negative word that means- don’t expect me to succeed, then you won’t be disappointed. I don’t want to do it and I’m pretty sure I
It’s a word used when somebody does not want to commit. I will try to make it to the gym 3 times a week. This is another excuse to not succeed and justify the effort, or lack thereof.
TRY TO DO THIS WITH A $20 BILL
Grab a friend. Take a $20 bill out of your pocket and hold it loosely between your fingers. Now ask your friend to try to take the $20 out of your hand. Do not tighten your grip. Did he take it? I’d bet yes. EXACTLY!
He did not try to take the $20. He did take the $20. You cannot try to take it, you either will take it or you won’t.
Now take the $20 back and repeat again, “No, don’t take the $20, try to take it.” Your friend will look puzzled- this is funny. He will probably say that he did try to take it and succeeded.
Wrong! What he did was signal his brain to move his arm to move his hand to grasp the $20 bill and closed his fingers around it and pulled it backwards and held it in his hand. He did all that to accomplish the task. He succeeded in the task.
What he did not do was try to take it. Make Sense?
LET”S BE HONEST HERE
Say you are in sales and only took the job because you felt you had no other option. When the boss asks you why you were last in sales this month, you have one of two choices.
1. Listen to his suggestions and put them into action and increase your sales
2. Be honest and say, “I really don’t want to work here. I will probably quit when I find something better that I like more than this job. Until then, I will be lazy and sulk.” In other words, You’ll try to do better. They both mean the same thing.
Do not ever try to do anything again. Make the decision to make it happen and you will be blown away by how many things you are now getting done.
THE PHRASE THAT DOESN’T PAY
How many times do we tell someone not to forget something? and how many times DO we actually forget things we were told not to?
The reason for this is because the subconscious mind is fooled by the negative words, and ignores them. Negative words are like a hole- there is nothing there to process. It simply will not retain the negative. There many books and studies on this matter.
NEGATIVE: Don’t forget to pick up milk before you come home.
but what your subconscious hears is- forget to pick up milk
(the don’t is unheard by your subconscious mind)
POSITIVE: Honey, remember to pick up milk at the store before you come home.
I have found that by eliminating negative words and substituting positive action words instead, my thought process about a particular situation begins to change, immediately and I’m better able to come up with a solution to a problem on the spot instead of dwelling on the negative. Now you
try do it.
photo credit: sodahead.com, google.com/images, thepennyhoarder.com,